Jeans on a Plane

My mother is different. Really different. I've been toying with the idea about a book. A book about Cita: The Walking Oxymoron. She has rules. Some I get, some I don't. Here are just a few.

1. Do not walk while smoking a cigarette-only carhops do that. Did I mention that my first job was as a carhop at Sonic. Yes, it was AND I walked and smoked and carhopped.
2. Never buy a house on a street with cars parked on the street in front of the houses-that is what a garage is for.
3. Do not wear jeans or God forbid shorts on a plane-only white trash does that. Yes, white trash. Probably the kind that lives on a street lined with cars parked out front of the houses.

Now pick yourself up off the floor and put that cigarette out!